The situation that inspired this piece was the immediate aftermath of a failed suicide attempt after the death of my youngest daughter

They gave me charcoal and pumped my stomach.

Unaware of how I looked, I immediately headed outside the hospital to ask for a smoke, when I was met with the strangest stares

Then I noticed my reflection in the massive glass windows.

 

‘Ash, ash— 

You poke and stir.

Flesh, bone, there is nothing there’

Sylvia Plath